Chapters Two and Three

Chapter Two

 China has never been on my agenga for places to see.  My attitude’s been marred by recent news reports about lead paint, tainted animal food, loss of jobs here and the like.  I shouldn’t neglect politics.  I inspect every food product.  I guess I was developing a strong predjudice.   My friend, Elena, and I often spoke of wanting to travel.  I told her if she ever wants to do a trip together I’m willing.  She mentioned China.  Her friends were going real cheap for a week, another friend had been there loved her trip, etc.   She really wanted to go to China.  I said” fine, let’s look into it.  Let’s get educated and go to a travel agent to see what they have to say and offer”.  We did , I talked to a couple of people who had been there and my excitement grew. Time was running out because she had her regularly planned trip to Argentina so we would have to leave and return in enough time for her to catch her breath and leave again.  Then there were the issues of visas and a couple of other issues.  That left us with a small window of time to travel so we had to decide once and for all.  We picked the tour that seemed the best for the money.  It was above our original budget but so much more was included.  We firmed up our decision.  We decided on the almost three week tour, after all why spend money to go so far and not see all the highlights of the country.  My mixed emotions became directed toward getting there in thebest way.  When I know I have to move on something I start immediately.

 

An overriding element for a few weeks had been that Elena expressed some difficulties between she and her significant other and wasn’t sure if she should go.  So it was hit and miss.  I had to wait it out with her.  They finally had a discussion about the trip and she said it wouldn’t be a problem.  Hearing that I overnighted the full cost of the trip and started on my personal journey of things to do such as getting a visa, changing the name on my passport, shopping and generally preparing all the things one does when going away for an extended period of time.  Elena sent her money too.  It didn’t take another twenty-four hours for her to call and say, guess what?  What?  It’s not working, I’m not going and I called and told them not to cash the check.  I was on the same roller coaster as they were on except I had to decide about going alone.  By now I was convinced it was a trip of a lifetime. It was going to cost another twenty-five percent for single accommodations.  I was anguished but said to myself “now or never” and went forward.  (By the way, Elena and Sam are fine at this writing.)  There were so many obstacles before my departure but I forged ahead anyway.  There was a mix-up with my passport and I was sure I’d be detained somewhere.  It was a rocky beginning and when those things I spoke of in Chapter One happened to me early on my trip I wondered if it was worth coming to China. 

 

Chapter Three

 

Airports!!!  NeedI say more?  Las Vegas to LA to Seoul to Shanghai.  Upon arrival in LA (not a nice airport) I get my two checked bags (allowed one in trip instructions) get them on a bus headed for the International airport  (under construction) in horrible condition, wait four hours (didn’t want to miss my connection) in miserable surroundings, to finally board a cheerful, bright, roomy plane filled with attendants that couldn’t do enough to please, each one more beautiful than the other.  The plane's interior and the uniforms were color coordinated,  beautiful aqua and cream colors.   On every seat were a few cellophane wrapped items, also color coordinated, a blanket, a pillow, a bottle of water and a gift kit filled with toothpaste, toothbrush, long soft socks, and an eyshield. The packaging of the small items was a little bag that you could wear around your neck to keep small items handy.  This was the beginning of a wonderful odyssey.   The food service on the plane was good, healthy, hot food served with wine, silverware and pleasant smiles.  The service was outstanding; they never walked but ran if you needed something.  They anticipated most of your needs. I met some tour travelers in line in LA; we hit it off with a few laughs eventually to meet up with the others who seemed pleasant also. 

 

The plane ride was an introduction as to how we would be treated throughout the tour.  Everywhere the service was outstanding even if they didn’t understand us they made every attempt to make things right.  Waitresses often brought something other than what was asked for, the hotel service people frequently didn’t understand a request, but always made good on their efforts.  The service was noticeably different than what we’ve grown to get used to here in the US.  It was a throwback to an era gone by in this country.   I realize that we were tourists, nevertheless, the society is much freer than ever and could get away with less.  From what I understand about Communism in Russia, people do or did less, not more than was asked of them.  I think the Asian culture is more polite and going the extra mile is something apparently different than Russia.  In contrast to that, in China they've developed certain habits that would seems rude.  For example, if you bump someone by accident you continue on your way without stopping.  It’s too crowded in many places for it not to happen so they ignore such minor events.  On the other hand if their job requires a service they do more than is expected.  Generally speaking if you have direct contact for any reason manners prevail.

 

Our Tour Director accompanied us throughout the country.  She was so outstanding that everyone overcompensated her above what was recommended.  We loved her.  She met all our needs, always one step ahead such as ordering special foods, wheelchairs if needed, finding a doctor, inquiring about our health including room visitation, always having enough exchange money on hand for those of us who were forgetful or too lazy to take care of it ourselves. In general always anticipating the next step.  There were many issues besides watching over us.   There were transfers, entry fees, luggage issues, four plane rides inside China, at least four forms of water carriers including the cruise and several trips from the boats to land excursions.  She was amazing. She had to coordinate all the local tour guides and buses, plane tickets and luggage deliveries multiple times. 

 

It should be obvious by now that we traveled to many cities, made a lot of stops, packed, unpacked and packed again over and over.  There is never a minute during the day to do too much thinking.  During our last stop, Hong Kong, we began to show our wear.  We were all on overload and slowing down by the minute.  There was an add-on excursion to Thailand that I did not do but some of the others booked it and were kind of sorry.  We were so ready for our departure.  It was sad though splitting up at the end.  We were split into three groups, west coast, east coast and Thailand.  We found ourselves running from gate to gate saying our last good-byes to what had become “family”.  We grew very fond of each other, warts and all.  I have a number of invitations to visit different parts of the country and Mexico.  Again here at the end I find I will need to start again about the tour through China. 

 

 

China in so many words.. Chapter One

 It’s difficult to recall not because time is passing but rather because we were on visual overload after a couple of days.  I’ll begin by getting the bad stuff out of the way then I’ll follow with some kind of narrative about the trip and somewhere in there will be my attitude about China, it’s people and it’s politics.  I have to write this in parts, so here goes.

 

The number one event, of course, was the earthquake.   However horrific we were spared most details.  The day went something like this:  we completed the Yangtze River Cruise by disembarking in Chongquing (ChunKing as it used to be called and was the capital city involved in WWII, suffered Japanese damage finally receiving our American aircraft for which the Chinese are still grateful).  We toured the lovely ancient city of about 3000 yrs. then headed for the airport to continue our China tour in Guilin, known for its incredible formations and foggy look.  We took a flight out of Chongquing about an hour before the disaster, which was close enough to receive some damage to the airport, and closed after our departure.  Because of our unbelievable schedule we stopped at the hotel to wash up and get on the waiting bus for a fabulous cave exploration.  While in the caves, two fellows at separate times pondered what would happen if there were an earthquake.  Little did we know it was happening as we walked the paths down there.  In Guilin, they say that they never had or felt an earthquake so we were totally unaware of the earthquake until we got back to the hotel to watch BBC or CNN before collapsing into bed.  We never really got the full impact until it was almost time to leave China, not forgetting to thank our lucky stars to be away from the disaster.  It never occurred to us that we were in danger. It wasn’t until we started getting messages and calls from loved ones that we felt the impact and made sure people knew we were safe from harm.  Now, after hearing various accounts of the widespread shaking that was felt from border to border and in other countries, I realize why folks in the US were so worried.  I apologize for not calling everyone I know.  Today after thousands of after shocks, a big one hit that rocked buildings in Beijing.

 

The most important disasters to me however were the ones that befell me!!  I got lost in Tainimen Square in Beijing. Day 3.  We left the tour bus for a quick 20 minute walk (free time) around the square, a space like nothing you’ve seen before, adapted from the Kremlin I think.   I wasn’t keen to walk the distance and asked if anyone wanted to return to the bus with me.  There were no takers so I went along with crowd, which I already had followed from the bus to the square like a lemming, not watching where I was.   We gathered inside and talked about the twenty minutes time we had to meet.   Everyone disbursed with their own agenda so I drifted to the statuary and flowered areas to take some photos.  Prior to leaving the bus it was suggested to take just a camera since it was such a short excursion with the assurance that our valuables will be safe with the driver.  I walked and sat down in a garden spot and noticed that the twenty minute time was approaching so I proceeded to our gathering spot as we have grown accustomed to doing and waited for the others to return.  Usually Jo, our tour director, is waiting before we arrive but she wasn’t there yet.  I waited and spotted a couple from the tour hurrying out the gate but I didn’t want to leave without the others.  Some among us had a tendency to wander and be waited for and I had already established my tardiness after breakfast the day before so I was going to be prompt and obedient.  I waited and waited and nobody showed up since that couple.  It was at least a half hour by now, not the twenty minutes, and I was getting nervous.  I was the only white face in the place by now and my red hair had already made me conspicuous everywhere else.  I know because there were always giggles, turn-arounds and the like wherever I went as if the white face isn’t enough.  I paced the fence near our entry searching as far as I could see for a familiar face.  There were none, in fact, the dinner hour was approaching and the place was clearing out.  I didn’t know if they close the gates or what.  I had no phone, no purse, no ID, none of the paperwork that I never fail to carry and I didn’t even know the name of the hotel that we had just registered in.  It was obvious that everyone was gone and I was verrry alone, alone in a foreign country where nobody speaks English (hardly anyone) and getting frightened at the thought that I didn’t know what to tell anyone even if they could speak English.  I had no idea which street the bus was parked because I was too busy not paying attention.  I became more agitated by the moment.  It wasn’t dark but not light anymore.  I was getting the chills from nerves.  I went to the guard, soldier or policeman, not sure what he was, and asked if he spoke English and of course he knew a couple of cursory words but didn’t understand a word when I asked if he could call his station to find an English speaking person.  He was able to put his arm on my shoulder and say “I take care you” but it only made me feel worse at the moment.  He took out a phone and called someone but no results and no comments passed between us.  It was getting dark and I had to pee too.  I was crying and pacing around him, by now it was at least a half hour past our meeting time.  Suddenly I saw a white face hurry through the gate and realized it was one of my tour mates who volunteered to look for me and sent the others on their way.  I almost collapsed when I saw him.  I thanked the “cop soldier” and we stood there for a second, Nigel and I, recapping what happened and he said, “Would you mind staying another forty minutes, I want to see the changing of the guard.”  I almost fainted at the idea of spending another minute there and profusely refused so we somehow made our way across the boulevard to a busy corner where we might catch a taxi.  By then I was about to burst and had to pee so we found this dimly lit joint and I went to one of the cruddy public toilets with the bowl built into the ground.  More on that later.  Luckily I had a Kleenex in my pocket.  After my second relief we were looking for a place to hail a cab and Nigel asked if I would mind taking a taxi by myself.  I looked at him with disdain by now and said, “I have no money, and I don’t know the name of the hotel or where it is.”  He showed his disappointment but went along with me to find a cab.  While on this corner another fellow from our troop yelled my name in his Russian accent.  We had gotten along well prior to this event.  He implored the guide to bring the bus to look for me because he wasn’t sure if Nigel found me.  I was so relieved once again.  I turned around to Nigel and said, “Well, you can go now.”  He said, “Ok, will you guys tell my wife what I’m doing?”  And away went Nigel.  My return to the bus was embarrassing, humiliating and I had to listen to all the stories about how worried everyone was.  They were so kind while I was not receptive because I knew a few must have resented the extra hour they had to sit on the bus.  I broke down and cried and thanked whomever I could.

 

What I left out about being tardy once already was that I thought the bus was leaving one half hour later in the morning than it was actually scheduled for so by the time I came down for a quick breakfast everyone was on the bus, the last of the crowd was leaving the coffee shop and I told them I was going to grab something real fast to take with me but was late nevertheless.  What actually happened was that I couldn’t find one thing that wasn’t hot or drippy in my quick run through. Aha, I saw loads of fresh fruit in big bowls above the food and had to lift myself high to reach in, they were half gone.  I took an apple and grabbed a couple of mini croissants and off I ran.  Everyone was seated and waiting, not a word was said.  They were patient.  I’m sitting on the bus anxious to eat that apple and dry stuff.  I ate the rolls and bit into the apple...lo and behold it was a plastic apple!  I told those sitting near me and word spread like wild fire.  Everyone thought it was hysterical, I was more hungry by the minute looking at that lucious apple..  There were enough offers of snacks to keep me full.   It was after that that I got lost.  That’s the rest of this story.  So my reputation as being a ditz was well established.

 

The end of the tale is that my immune system broke down quickly from the trauma of getting lost and by the next morning I was not well.  That’s when I had to endure all the rescue stories and the heroics of those who insisted I not be left behind etc.  And I was feeling sick.  I apologized for remaining quiet in my solitude and they were respectful with many kind words.  The next day I got up in front of the bus and thanked everyone for their patience and concern and that I felt like they were all one loving Buddha who were comforting me and it was good.  I got sick with what ended up like a chronic cigarette cough, again kind of embarrassing and I also got a rash, which three other women had developed.  The rashes were on our legs.  Mine was the worst looking, flaming red; I had swollen feet and got worried.  I had visions of being quarantined at an airport somewhere so I had a doctor come to the hotel.  She came with a nurse at her side and neither spoke English so the hotel concierge accompanied them.  I have a full written report in Chinese that I’ll have interpreted one day.  She examined my leg over and over and could not reach a conclusion and suggested I go to a hospital.  This further freaked me out.  I didn’t want to raise any flags during my travels and the others did not want to go to the hospital.   I analyzed my own conclusions that it must be the water, stopped bathing, cleaned the legs with an antiseptic after every shower and eventually it cleared but so did everyone else’s.  ????

 

This was the downside being alone (nobody to bounce off my anxieties) otherwise I enjoyed the privacy.   Above was the worst of my travel experiences.  The good so outweighed the bad that there was no time to think about these issues for long.

 

 

 

 

Before going to China

I know I took a lot of time off so I owe an update.  Life is going along just fine.  I still get plagued with the little stuff like an hour phone call making corrections and adjustments for every piece of mail I get.  Like going to the bank for a stack of new singles only to be involved in a two week debacle that ended with me going to a branch bank in Chinatown.  The community there needs them all the time when travelling.   I leave for China on Tuesday, the 29th.  I’m very apprehensive since I’m going alone, but hey, it’ll be an adventure.  It's a long trip, hitting all the major cities from Shanghai to Hong Kong with a Yang Si River cruise along the way.  Hope it's quiet in Bejing.   Packing, working and tying up loose ends is more than a full time job every day lately.    I got a new tenant for the condo without having to advertise and go through an extensive screening process.  That was a huge concern of mine that will give me a free mind to enjoy the trip even more.  In my whole life I never before felt this way about going anywhere. 

 

 Working again has proven to be a challenge and finally is turning out to be somewhat lucrative.  It’s hard to believe I faced so many challenges this year.  Art, politics, religion, the world of finance and establishing a social life again should keep my body, soul and mind in shape, the body  doesn’t look so good but perhaps will keep it from deteriorating faster than it already has.

 

Retirement is cool in the sense that I can and do choose what to do every day except at tax time.  It’s such an agonizing experience every year.  Whew, it’s over and I just noticed more than a quarter of this year has disappeared already.  I remain happy with the choices I’ve made for this part of my life.  I never would have accomplished so much if I were not in Vegas. 

 

I hope to keep a diary of this adventure and will give a full report in about a month or so.  I miss my family more than ever knowing that I’m going to be so far away.  I want to give a “family” hug to everyone I love and hold near and dear. 

 

‘Till next time.....Betty

 

CAUCUS... OH MY G___!!!!! CHAOS, YES

NEVADA CAUCUS JANUARY 19,2008

 

It’s frantic, frenetic, chaotic, hectic, noisy, unorganized and unruly.  The voter is confused, frightened and unable to find their precinct.  The volunteers argue, deny, disobey and do their job.  Leadership is overburdened, doubtful, argumentative and decisive.  The party leaders attempted to solve problems in order to favor their candidate.  To the best of their ability, the state people attempted to get the job done according to the rules. That job was to take almost two hundred flailing people holding signs, holding their verification and identifications and make them sit in their designated area (one of two in this case in one room) while not separating themselves by candidate.  The signs all over indicating areas for candidates rather than precincts caused the party people to congregate by party rather than precinct.  The room is a cafeteria with high ceilings and nothing to absorb the sound.  My job, as Chair of the precinct, was to run my precinct caucus, from start to finish; when to open the doors and when to close the doors, begin and end the caucus and do a legal count with the proper signatures and documentation.

 

Every voter had to sign up at the correct precinct, of which there were at least eight in the same school, during a specified time frame.  Of course a few came way too early or too late.  Voters did not know their precinct number. If they did they got into the wrong lines anyway.

 

 Volunteers were there to pull people towards their candidates.  Nobody seemed to understand that there were only two people in charge.  They were I and the other Precinct Chair in the room. Two very young volunteers sort of took over by using their ability to get on top of tables and shout for order.  They were a big help.  They were, even though publicly affiliated trained on procedure.  They were able to get the crowd in tow in order to begin the process. 

 

Once we got the crowd segregated, noise was still a factor so we had to fly by the seat of our pants so to speak to get the job done.  The voters were inpatient by now, not all.  Some were so empathetic that they volunteered to do whatever was necessary to bring order and to get the job done.  Through it all, and because everyone present felt the momentum, we managed to end in an orderly caucus fashion whether or not the rules we abandoned.

 

The main cause of disruption was that the numbers of people that showed up were unexpected.  The last caucus in Nevada brought out 9000 voters, which has it’s own story.  This year there were almost 150,000 voters.  There were not enough “ballots” (not called ballots but for the sake of brevity) there were insufficient voter enrollment sheets; all documents were in short supply so we had to do some last minute makeshift paperwork to allow everyone present to be validated.  This happened while people were standing in line, not even knowing sometimes if they were in the correct line. 

 

That is the overview.  I arrived early, about 9:30 AM.  There were political signs already on thegrounds, a no-no.  I found the cafeteria easily.  That is where my precinct was to meet, in the same room as two others.  Somehow, thank goodness, one of the groups found another room.  I walked in to find precinct captains giving orders to the grounds person to move tables here and there. Everyone had a Party Shirt on.  My first order of opposition was the room arrangement.  I had to convince everyone that the room had to be in a different order because the voter had to have priority at the entrances.  DUH!!!!! 

 

My next order of business was to solicit help for my job.  Then I had to tell them to remove political signs.  They didn’t until a complaint came from headquarters.  I needed people at the sign-up tables and for duties that arose by the minute.  As each question was posed, I had to be reinforced with help and it didn’t stop until we all left the building.  I had to deal with the microcosm and macrocosm of every type of personality that one has ever encountered.  There were the obedient and willing who did whatever was asked and the opposite end of the spectrum was the questioner who insisted on doing it “her” way no matter how or why they were told to follow the rules.  I had to call headquarters for answers that I didn’t have.  Someone had to dictate to me over a cell phone an affidavit that was a page long to replace forms that we didn’t have which had to be signed by unregistered voters while questions were flying at me.  I had to stand in front of the sign-up table one time between the potential voters and the volunteers helping them to admonish a volunteer to stop doing it her way and to doit correctly.   I read the rules and attended two training groups where I learned how to close the doors and begin the caucus.  An Obama leader took me to task and called to report me.  While we were both right, nobody bothered to inform me that they lowered the bar because of the unusual turnout.  The two of us hugged at the end because we were both trying to do our job.

 

All and all it was a great experience.  I know why I don’t want to be a committee member of anything ever again, but enjoyed so much the part I played, probably because I didn’t have to answer to anyone and was left to do my job.    I know there were many lessons to be learned not only by me but the state Democratic Party. I’m sure the next time they will have most “kinks” worked out.  I only worry that the voters may have been turned off, but truly I didn’t get that impression by the majority.  There were a few people who left due to lack of patience or not realizing how long the process would be.  I would do it again.  And, I will attend any meetings if invited to offer suggestions and review the difficulties we confronted. 

 

My very diverse precinct was eligible for nine delegates.  Five went to Obama and four to Hillary. I don’t know about the other precincts in the building, even the other group in our room, but everyone knows by now that Hillary won Nevada and for that I was happy.  It never could have happened without the hard work of all the volunteers. To end this I want to thank my dear friend Phyllis who lives in northern Nevada.  She has been an active Democrat since her arrival about seven years ago.  She made me realize that I could have this experience.   

 

Today I made a commitment to Hillary Clinton.  My explanation will follow:

 

January 10, 2008

 

Dear Hillary: 

 

 I admit that I waited before committing to you and can now share my feelings.  They (my thoughts) woke me early this morning.  This may not be the first or last time anyone suggests that a woman like you can be the Mother of our nation.  We've had many Fathers....Not only do you have White House experience, you ARE the woman that no man, President or wannabe, can live without!  You are a wife.  You were the person in your household that helped your family live out a dream.  Mr. Obama wants us to vote on hope for change.  You, Hillary, know you can help people fulfill their hopes and dreams.  YOU did it, through negative press, through marital woes, through anxious times, you took your family through it all and were able to keep your public life, keep your family together and finally become a Senator of a great state in this great nation.  Don't diminish that part of being a woman.  Not one candidate knows better than you what it is to be on both sides of the White House door.  I can finally say I honor your courage and fortitude.  Aside from your intelligence, tenacity and ambition, you have endured and emerged from experiences that no man running for office can claim to compare.  Don't let your femininity hide.  Bring it on and let everyone know what a great woman you have been and obviously still are. 

 As a Temporary Chair of the Democratic Caucus in my Precinct I promise to do my part  to support you in Las Vegas.   

 

Sincerely, 

 

Betty Fox

 

I guess there's not too much more to say regarding her candidacy but what sparked my emotions is what more I want to add.  I spent a great deal of my adult life in roles of leadership and business that were mostly done by men.  In the late 60's and 70's I was inundated with information about the Women's Liberation Movement.  While on some level I was influenced by it, there was another level that made me uncomfortable.  That area had to do with being a woman at home doing homemaking chores.  I always felt that the "libbers" refused to acknowledge the importance of the role of homemaker.  Thus I refused to be organized or associated with those groups. 

 

In my personal life, while still in my twenties, I volunteered and became involved in a couple of activities that led to leadership roles.  The most prominent at that time in my life was The Leukemia Research Foundation, which got it's start in Chicago.  My mother-in-law and father-in-law, both deceased, were very active and  instrumental in organizing the first chapter.  My mother-in-law, Esther Fox, died very young (not from Leukemia).   We, the next generation, were urged to form a chapter in her name.  Marvin and I gathered a number of friends and formed a couple's group. The chapters were made up of men and women.  Mostly men at that time were Presidents of their chapters.  I urged Marvin to run for office, he wanted no part of it but I did.  I ran and went from Chapter President to the Central Council, etc.  That was the beginning of my involvement in life in a number of other endeavors that men seemed to favor and be prevalent. 

 

I was working in and for the arts in the late sixties and early seventies and again reached a leadership role and had a smidgeon of prominence in my community, Highland Park.  I tell you this merely as a background for why I was asked to speak at a function for women only.  It was sponsored by a noted Women's Lib group in Evanston.  I was reluctant to be on a panel because of my duplicitous feelings.  A friend finally convinced me to come along and here are the results.  Some of the women knew that I was truly multitasking by being a mother, artist and administrator of an art center.  They wanted to know how I did it.  I could only answer the truth and that was that it was very hard work.  Up late at night making art, up early in the AM getting family and myself off for work;  home again to make dinner and do other household tasks, etc.   There was no easy answer.  They were looking for a way out.  They all had creative endeavors and urges and didn't know how to balance their lives now that they were mothers.  This was a time when women were first being encouraged to get paid for work they do.  Volunteerism fell to an all time low by the time 1980 arrived.   The rest is history.  And guess what!  Women today are in every profession with the same cry.  How do I juggle cleaning the toilets, carpooling and being a wife while trying to break that glass ceiling?   

 

The point of all this is, during my lifetime of working and watching how men operate, I came to realize how much women do for them to push them forward in their careers, endeavors and hobbies.  I envied men for that.  I  always wished to have a wife like they did.  So as time has passed these last few months, I've come to realize what a fine woman Hillary is and has been.  She used every skill imaginable to be where she is.  She is bright, accomplished and I admire her.  So now you have the rest of the story.

 

addendum to story below about Mike

A friend brought to my attention that my little joke backfired the way  I explained how much I paid Mike.  I edited the story today so if you read the story prior to editing, I paid Mike a lot more than we had agreed to.  And he was happy at that moment.

Mike the Landscaper

Just a short story about a landscaper who made me sad.  A number of months ago a guy, Mike, plastered a poster on our community mailbox advertising himself as the tree man.  His last name is I'll say Jones.   I thought it would be a good idea to talk to someone who clearly speaks and understands English.  I've had wonderful people work for me who didn't speak well and I loved them, but sometimes the work didn't get done as I asked due to a language barrier.  So I called Mike.  He and his wife drove up in a beat up car.  They toured the property and he gave me a great price.  They both spoke intelligently, fankly they looked a little like, well I don't know how to say it so I won't .  Being the good guy that I am (hmmmm?), I hired them on the spot only to find out that they had to come back later, after I gave him a deposit for half of the job.  I figured they had to go out and resupply themselves with some minor tools, etc.  They gave me scare for a couple of hours but did return to both work hard as dogs.  As the months passed I realized they did a very professional job, followed my requests for which the results were as time went by exactly what I asked for and I thought about them many times because of their good work. Time passed and I needed them again.  They couldn't trim my apple tree during the earlier season.  I called, complimented them and invited them to give me an estimate for the new work and hired them again.  This time they arrived, looking  a step above street people, in an old car only this time with a 2 yr old little girl that they were eager to tell me that they nabbed from their daughter because the boyfriend had beat up the little one.  I guess they are raising her.  Once again Mike asked for an advance, I gave it to him and asked to please come back in time so as not to work in the dark otherwise we'd have to start early AM next day.   Needless to say the next day arrived and no Mike at the agreed 8AM.  After many calls and excuses, can't find the car keys, etc.  will have to take a bus, and I said, "Mike how can you take a ladder and stuff on the bus?"  and he said," Well, do you want to come and pick me up?"   Do I have to tell you how nervous I got with that question?  Around 12:30 I went to get the mail and there is Mike, no truck, the beat up car and he's trimming my front yard tree.  No advance notice.  What a surprise.  Mike worked his tail off.  In addition to my asking for a little extra work, he had to clean up a billion pieces of splintered glass from my garden table that he helped me move to an upright position only for it to explode.  It was shocking.  The point is he worked, alone this time, like a dog once again, never stopping till  the job was complete.  I paid him more than he asked for the work he did, after asking him how much I owed him.  He said to give him whatever I wanted.  Kiddingly, I asked if $10 was enough for the day.  He didn't blink an eye to my joke.  He left and I felt good.  Kind of like a win-win situation.  About an hour later the doorbell rings.  I looked out and it was Mike.  His tee shirt above his belly, a frantic sad look in his eyes and still dirty from the job.  I came to the gate. Sheepishly he asked me to loan him $100, told me he left my the check (behind) at the Inn Zone, a local bar and they all have gambling.  So don't know what part of the check was used for what.  He told me he was supposed to take his little grandbaby somewhere the next day, that he had a big job tomorrow and would pay me $150 the next day.  I said no and he walked away slowly and very sad.  Mike got to me in a way I didn't expect.  I was agitated over the circumstances.  The funny part is that I feel in my heart that Mike would repay me somehow, but I couldn't bring myself to be a party to what I imagined would happen to the new money.  Better he should go home and face the music whatever tune that is.   I remained sad for the rest of the day.